Invisible Blessings

Friday, January 2^nd was my son Ben's 18^th birthday. I straightened up the kitchen after breakfast and started to leave the room, flipping off the kitchen lights as I left. When one of them didn't turn off, I turned around to hit it again and I slipped and fell, breaking my hip on the wood floor.

I had surgery to repair the break that afternoon. It went well, and I am now recovering at home and feeling okay. I am amazed once again at the outflow of love and service from my friends, neighbors, and my wonderful family.

But there were some bad moments at first – some moments of questioning and fear. I suppose that most people in situations like this are prone to ask themselves, “Why? Why me?” Even the most devout believer might question, “Why did God let this happen?”

(At least, I hope other people do. I don't want to be the only one.)

I am remembering the terrible events of September 11, 2001, when people asked the same kind of questions: “Why would God allow all those people to be killed by these terrible men? Doesn't He have the power to stop them? Doesn't He care?”

I don't have the answers to those questions, but here's another question I don't have the answer for: How many times did God stop terrorists from killing? How many hijackings, kidnappings, and murders has He prevented?

In that context, I have to ask myself, “How many times did He keep me from falling? How many times have I fallen but have not been hurt? How many times have I had unseen protectors?”

I love the image this scripture paints on my heart:

I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up (D&C 84:88).

These scriptures below bring up another question: 

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows:  (Isaiah 53:4)

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, (Mosiah 24:14)

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:29 - 30) 

How much of the pain, how much of the nausea, how much of the all-around difficulty of this broken hip and its treatment have I borne myself? How much has He taken from me? During how much of my life have I been enduring only the tip of the misery iceberg?

I once heard a woman say that when she counts her blessings she reminds herself to double the count

to include “invisible blessings” – the car that didn't hit her, the cold she didn't get, the vicious dog that didn't bite her child. I certainly have reason to enumerate my blessings the same way.

I'm feeling really grateful now, and I want to keep feeling this way. So I'll be counting my blessings not doubled, but squared.

That's a lot of blessings. I hope I can count that high!