Fractural Education: Part 3

Obviously, falling and breaking a hip is no one's idea of fun. But it hasn't been as bad as I expected, really. The surgery went well, and I have had very little pain. I am grateful to have good people around who can help me. My biggest complaint about the experience is pretty feeble, honestly, but here it is: I hated sitting around waiting for the darn bone to heal. I was bored, frustrated, and annoyed.

One day, as I pondered this situation, these words pushed their way into my head.

“They also serve who only sit and wait.”

I recognized the words as the last line of a poem, but it was one I had read years ago, and I didn't remember anything else about it. I found it, though (thank you, Google) and read it. This is a poem by John Milton, who was born in England in 1608. The poem was written around 1653. Of course, I understand that some of you may not be big fans of centuries-old poetry, but this one has a lot of truth in it.

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent

Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,

And that one Talent which is death to hide

Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent

To serve therewith my Maker, and present

My true account, lest He returning chide.

"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"

I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent

That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need

Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best

Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state

Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,

And post o'er land and ocean without rest;

They also serve who only stand and wait."

No matter who you are, I don't think you can understand the poem's meaning with one read. But when I looked at it for the first time in years, one word stood out to me.

   Patience.

Now, for me to learn that I am not very patient would be no lesson at all. I have known since I was child that I am impatient.This deficit of patience shows itself in my life nearly every day. I don't like to wait in lines. I don't like to wait for appointments. I don't like to wait for mail, or wait on hold. The term “waiting room” sends shivers up my spine.

"I can skip this ad in how many seconds?!"

Maybe I have a Waiting Allergy. Or maybe I have ADD: Anticipating Dullness Disorder.

I'm always in a hurry for things to start, and I'm always in a hurry for everything to be over. If a recipe says something like “Stir constantly for 15 minutes,” I find a way to avoid that step. If you want to make me laugh, give me a recipe that ends with the words "Wait one hour before serving." Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

People have wondered why I feel like I have be in such a hurry all the time. I've heard it from friends: “Why are you walking so fast? I can hardly keep up!”

I hear it from my son Ben, who kindly gives me a ride when I need to get somewhere: “Mom, don't unbuckle your seat belt until I stop the car. Hey, we're still moving! Don't open the door!”

I've heard it from doctors, and nurses and teachers. The physical therapist who helped me strengthen my leg hung this note in my kitchen:

While I know that these people are concerned about my safety and my happiness, that never influenced me enough to make me bother to change. I knew that I was impatient, but I never felt it was a big deal. Just a little personality quirk that I've always had, like having brown eyes, or being left-handed. Nothing I needed to worry about or improve in.

But I was wrong.

After I read the poem, I was impressed to begin a study of the scriptures on the topic. I learned that patience is not a trivial asset, but a deep doctrinal truth; an important part of the gospel. Just a few examples:

· Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him (Psalms 37:7).

· And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope (Romans 5:3 – 4).

· To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life (Romans 2:7).

· For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise (Hebrews 10:36).

· My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (James 1:2 – 5).

· John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ. (Revelation 1:9)

· Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. (Revelation 14:12)

· These things remain to overcome through patience, that such may receive a more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, otherwise, a greater condemnation. Amen. (Doctrine and Covenants 63:66)

· Ye are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until ye are perfected. (Doctrine and Covenants 67:13)

See what I mean? Patience is huge! It's right up there with obedience and faith.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared this in the April 2010 General Conference:

"There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

I'm realizing that impatience is, at its root, a symptom of pride. It's a way of saying that my time is more important than others. I really don't feel that way, so why do I act that way?

Most important is that I realize how patient my Heavenly Father has always been with me – mercifully waiting for me to change, while I continue to be stubborn and erratic.

Clearly, this is an area where I need to improve. And I'm not sure how to do that.

Since 25 years spent raising seven energetic children and 10+ years dealing with cancer and associated health issues have not solved my problem with this virtue, it looks like I'll have to tackle it directly.

So I here declare my intention: I commit to try everyday to be more patient. It doesn't sound hard. I believe I can do it.

I hope it doesn't take too long.

"9 . . .8 . . .7. . ."