The Rights We Share

A little more than a year into our marriage, Wes and I moved halfway across the country so that he could continue his education. We were excited about this new adventure and the experiences and opportunities it would bring.

Memphis is a city with a lot of natural beauty, interesting places to visit, and very friendly people. But it is also city with some real problems. One of those is racism.

I grew up in Northern California and went to schools that had a lot of racial diversity among the students and faculty. I remember sitting in my fourth-grade classroom and learning about the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. I was shocked that such terrible things had happened in this country – this great nation; not in ancient history, but not long ago, around the time I was born. I was glad to know that the era of hate and inequality was over, and “we the people” had left it behind.

So I was not prepared for the ignorant and ugly bigotry that we found in our new hometown. We moved into a neighborhood where we were in the racial minority. We enjoyed making new friends there, and we were determined that our children would be raised to be “color blind.”

One day I was in the kitchen while our son Sam, who was probably about four, was playing with some neighborhood friends. I heard Sam's voice say, “I'm white, and you're black, and white is better than black, so I get to go first.”

I felt like a bomb had dropped. I walked quickly toward the living room, ready to pull my child aside and talk to him about it and suggest he apologize to his friend. I got there just as Sam was saying, “After this, we'll play again, and you can be white and I'll be black.”

They were playing checkers.

With great relief, I remembered that months earlier, Sam had said, thoughtfully, “The difference between me and Randall is that his hair is dots, and my hair is lines.”

Today, we celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. He did not set out to be a hero or a menace. He didn't plan to shake the world. He just wanted to be a good man, a disciple of Christ, a servant of God. And when he was asked to help, he said he would try. His autobiography contains this revealing scene:

Almost immediately after the [bus boycott] started we had begun to receive threatening telephone calls and letters. They increased as time went on.

One night I couldn’t sleep. It seemed that all of my fears had come down on me at once. I had heard these things before, but for some reason that night it got to me. I went to the kitchen and I sat there and thought about a beautiful little daughter who had just been born. I started thinking about a dedicated and loyal wife, who was over there asleep. And she could be taken from me, or I could be taken from her. And I got to the point that I couldn’t take it any longer. With my head in my hands, I bowed over the kitchen table and prayed aloud: “Lord, I’m down here trying to do what’s right. I think I’m right. I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But Lord, I must confess that I’m weak now, I’m faltering. I’m losing my courage. Now, I am afraid. . . . I have nothing left. I’ve come to the point where I can’t face it alone.”

It seemed as though I could hear the quiet assurance of an inner voice saying: “Martin Luther, stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice. Stand up for truth. And lo, I will be with you. Even until the end of the world.”

I tell you I heard the voice of Jesus saying still to fight on. He promised never to leave me alone. At that moment I experienced the presence of the Divine as I had never experienced Him before. Almost at once my fears began to go. My uncertainty disappeared. I was ready to face anything.

Martin Luther King believed in justice. He believed in solving problems with peace instead of violence. He believed that love was stronger that hate. He believed in loving and serving others. And he shared these beliefs, in word and actions, with the world.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others. In dangerous valleys and hazardous pathways, he will lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life."

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.” 

 “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” 

“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?”

“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.”

“Not everybody can be famous but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service.”

“Like anybody, I would like to have a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will.” 

Civil rights is about more than race relations. It's about giving the same opportunities and respect to everyone, without regard for their ethnicity, gender, or religion. It's about remembering who we are – children of God – and that our neighbors who share this planet are, too.

For none of these iniquities come of the Lord; for he doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile. (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 26:33)

We can't change the past, and maybe we can't change the deep-rooted prejudices that some people have carried from childhood. But can we examine our own hearts, and rework our own thinking if we find groundless bias there? Can we do our part to make sure that the next generation is free from the burden of false assumptions and judgments?

Every culture has its problems, including mine. But I dream of a world where making a decision about the character of a fellow human being based on the the color of his eyes, or his hair, or his skin seems as preposterous as judging him by the color of his t-shirt.

We started a new family tradition last year, and we continued it tonight. We are celebrating Martin Luther King Day – and our own freedoms – with a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate ice cream: a symbolic reminder that we can find goodness and happiness in desserts, and in people, of different colors. We think it's a lesson worth enjoying.