A few days ago I made a pan of brownies to take to a get-together at my friend Sarah's house. They disappeared quickly, which was good. Sarah asked for the recipe, which would have been good if I had actually followed a recipe. "I'll e-mail it to you," I promised, then came home and and sat in front of the computer wondering what to do. At last I decided I would just describe the process I went through in making those brownies. So here we go:
Hi, Sarah! I'm glad you enjoyed the brownies and I'm happy to tell you how I made them. The following steps are important if you want to make them the way I did:
The night before you make the brownies,
ask your husband if he has any caramels. Keep asking until he
confesses that he has some locked up in the trunk of his car. Ask him
to get them out for you.
In the morning when he gets them out,
note that they are very hard and therefore impossible to chew. Listen
while husband explains that he bought them on clearance some time
ago. Kiss him good-bye and let him leave for work.
Spend several very boring minutes
unwrapping caramels, trying to complete an online crossword puzzle
while you do this. Wish your kids were home to help you. Instantly
regret wishing that.
Melt the caramels in the microwave with
a little milk and stir until they are smooth. Put in refrigerator.
(Put them way in the back, under an open can of green beans. This is
to avoid temptation.)
Cream together:
1 cup butter, melted
2 cups sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
4 eggs
Note that, so far, things are going well.
Get another bowl (I prefer to use one
that will be easy to just wipe clean) and put flour into it. (You can
use any amount of flour between one and two cups. The more flour you
use, the cakier the brownies will be; when you use less flour they
are denser and fudgier. I usually use 1½ cups, but for the ones I
took to your house I used about 1⅓ cups.)
Pick up the container of cocoa powder
from the kitchen shelf. Note that it is empty. Let out a roar of
frustration. Resist temptation to quit and just eat the sugar and
butter mixture straight out of the mixing bowl. Call neighbors to ask
to borrow cocoa powder. Find that none of your close neighbors are
home. Look outside at the snow and ice and recognize that you are not
going to walk to a neighbor whose address is not "next door to
Spencer's." Carefully reconsider eating sugar and butter mixture
straight out of the mixing bowl.
Rest until children start coming home
from school. Note that one of the children is not yours. Tell this
child to go home and get some cocoa powder for you. Wait several
hours, until the child remembers your request and tells his mother.
When his mother calls and asks if you still need cocoa powder, look
longingly into the mixing bowl before you decide to say yes. Wait for
friend's child to bring cocoa powder.
Add ½ cup cocoa powder and ½ tsp salt
to the flour. Stir the dry ingredients and combine them with the wet
ingredients. Realize that although you preheated the oven four hours
earlier, it is now off and cold. Turn it on again.
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| Cake and I have a long, complicated history |
Good luck! Enjoy!
