Immortality

 

My father was fond of telling this story. He told it whenever he found an audience willing to listen to the tale. He told it at my wedding breakfast the day I got married.

Here's the story the way my dad told it:

I was laying AstroTurf on our backyard deck.

I don't know if you've ever worked with the stuff, but you have to make sure the surface you are laying it on is perfectly smooth and clean. One small pebble or a little dust can keep the AstroTurf from sticking tightly, and that causes creases or lumps. I spent hours sweeping the deck, then hosing it down, and sweeping it again when it was dry. I repeated this several times, until I was sure it was smooth and clean, and I slowly and painstakingly rolled the sticky AstroTurf onto the deck. It was a perfect fit, and I stepped back to survey my work.

I was surprised to see a lump. It was a small lump, but big enough to stand out in the otherwise smooth and even turf.

I couldn't understand it. How could there be a bump under the AstroTurf when it had been clean and smooth just minutes earlier?

I realized that I had to pull the AstroTurf from the edge of the deck to the spot where I could see the lump, and I needed to do it quickly before the glue set.

I found a small piece of paper, folded twice. I picked it up, unfolded it, and read these words: “My name is Marnie Measom. I am seven years old, and I used to live here.”

I confessed my part in this caper, telling my dad that when he was almost finished and his back was turned briefly, I had dropped the folded paper on the deck and pushed it under the AstroTurf with my foot. “I wanted to be immortal,” I said, a bit sheepishly.

Now, many years later, I know that immortality does not come from a small folded piece of paper. It is a free gift from God, given to us through His beloved Son's atonement.

“The resurrection and immortality are gifts from God, through Jesus Christ, and not from the works and efforts of mortal men.”¹

But immortality is not our end goal. We can do better. We can work toward eternal life – God's life.

“But to be resurrected and immortal is not all that is required for entrance into eternal life in the kingdom of God. Eternal life in the kingdom of God is far beyond his universal gift of immortality and is God’s greatest gift to all mankind; it can only be brought about through obedience to the doctrines and commandments taught by Jesus Christ.”²

“For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39, emphasis added)

Maybe the next time I'm tempted to fold a piece of paper, I'll use it for origami. I think that will have more value than my childhood attempt for immortality.

1Bernard P. Brockbank, 1973

2ibid

Struck Speechless

(This is from 2002)

The first week of school is a terrible time for a mom to get sick.

But there I was, struck by some virus that rendered me nearly useless among all the bustle of kids loading and unloading backpacks and hunting for matching socks. For nearly a week I floundered, trying to keep my preschool children alive but quiet, occasionally sitting up to sign a note from school for one of the older kids.

By the beginning of the next week, although I was still weak and left with a lingering cough, I felt well enough to begin the task of digging my family out of the mess that had grown up around us. On Tuesday evening, I was explaining to my daughter why she needed to help clean the family room when my tirade was interrupted by a severe coughing spell. After I finished coughing, I tried to continue the lecture, but found it difficult to speak. The words just weren’t coming out right.

I had never experienced anything like this before. When I went upstairs to talk to my husband, Wes, my speech was slurred, and I stammered over some words.  Frightened, I began to cry. Wes put his arms around me and asked what was wrong. “I’m scared,” I tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“You’re just tired,” he told me.  “You’ve been so sick. You go to bed. I’ll put the kids down. You’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep.”

I crawled into bed and lay there, hoping he was right, but deep down I knew that I was not just tired. I was terrified that something was really wrong with me.What’s happening to me?  I wondered. What if it doesn’t get better? What if it gets worse, and I can’t talk at all?

For the first time in my life, I considered what it would be like to lose the ability to speak. While talking is a skill generally taken for granted, I was keenly aware that night how much it meant to me. I had considered in the past what it might be like to be without sight, or hearing, or hands.  Now I was wondering if any of those things were as valuable to me as my voice. I had never really realized before how important is was to me to just talk – to tell stories and jokes, to ask a friend how she felt, to chat on the phone.

I suddenly recognized the power our words have – for good and bad.  I saw that to be able to speak is a gift from God, who created us, and is the giver of all good gifts , and it seemed tragically wrong that anyone would use that gift to lie, or to gossip, or to hurt. I promised myself that if my speech was restored, I would never again misuse my ability to wield words.

At last I slept, and when I woke the next morning, my husband’s first words to me were, “Good morning.  Can you talk?”

“Yes, I can talk,” I answered automatically, but the words didn’t sound quite right. We looked at each other apprehensively.

“Say something else,” he said.  “Read me something.”  He thrust a book at me, and I began to read aloud. Although I could speak, and he could understand me, I was stammering and mispronouncing words. 

“Can you sing?  Sing something you know really well.”

We found  that I could sing fluently.

“Maybe we should go to the hospital,” Wes said.

I didn’t want to go. I honestly felt healthier than I had in days, and I didn’t see what a doctor could do about some fuzzy speech. “Let’s wait, and see what happens,” I said. I told Wes I was fine and that he should go to work.

In truth, I was more worried than I pretended to be.  But I was still reluctant to seek medical help. I decided to wait one more day.

The next morning, my speech was only a little improved. Wes called his office to tell them he wouldn’t be in. We left our younger children with a neighbor, and Wes and I headed to the hospital.

When we explained the reason for our visit to the woman at the hospital reception desk, we had her full attention. “I have a 36-year-old woman with slurred speech,” she said into a microphone at the desk. I was whisked immediately to the emergency room while people waiting ahead of me remained in their chairs.

The emergency room doctor asked us questions and listened to me speak. He had several theories and seemed to feel there was nothing seriously wrong, but he wanted to do a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) scan to rule out the possibility of brain damage.

With Wes at my side, I walked to the radiation center where the MRI scanned and recorded images of my brain. When the scan was finished, Wes and I went back to the emergency department and waited nervously for the doctor to return with the results.

When he did, he had unexpected news: “Mrs. Spencer, you’ve had a stroke.”

The next few hours were a blur of activity. I was transferred to a hospital eighty miles away. I spent the next day there while test after test was performed – tests on my heart, my blood, my veins – tests that would attempt to determine why a healthy, relatively young woman had a stroke. Eventually, I was released and told that they would let me know what they learned. Weeks later, I got the final word: my stroke was “cryptogenic.”  No cause had been found.

More than a year has passed since my stroke. I have made an excellent recovery. Although I still sometimes make errors in my speech, they are minor, and most people talking to me never notice.

Over the past year, watching my youngest child learn to talk, I feel like I am witnessing a remarkable, mysterious miracle – and indeed I am. From a very young age we human beings use breath, and brain, and ear, and tongue in a complex combination that we little understand to produce words with which we ask questions, and communicate facts, and invoke powerful emotions. The fact that we do it every day should not lessen our appreciation of the whole astonishing process.

I am truly grateful that my speech was restored. I cannot say that I have fully lived up to my promise that I would never again misuse my power to speak. However, I have certainly appreciated the ability more, and have tried to be more aware of the good – and bad – I do with it.

It seems to be a fact of life that we do not cherish most of the things we have – our health, our abilities, our loved ones – until we lose them, or almost lose them. I don’t know if we can really change that.   But perhaps the next time you speak words that make someone smile, or laugh, or cry, or light up with understanding, you will recognize how remarkable it is that you can do that.

I hope I will.

Sunday Blessings

When my Grandmother turned eighty in June 2006, all her family, including our children and all my siblings attended her birthday party. 

When my daughter Hannah and I talked to my brother, he told us that he was going to Hollywood later that week to oversee the filming of a movie he was co-producing. 

Hannah was thirteen and rather star-struck at that time, and the chance to go to Hollywood and see a movie being shot was overwhelmingly tempting to her. When my brother said that he would be driving there, and he didn't have a hotel to stay in, so he would just be 'crashing on some friend's couch,' you can imagine my thoughts. I told Hannah that she could go, but only if I went with her. As Hannah was something of a “Mommy's girl” then, she happily accepted the plan.

My brother said he could fit us both in his car, but I decided to look into other options. I found a really great deal on a round-trip flight to Southern California, and Hannah and I booked two tickets immediately. When I told my brother that we wouldn't be driving with him, he asked about the flight, and when I answered his questions, he said he would fly with us. Other family members heard about the trip, and they were interested, so my aunt and cousin drove from Arizona to meet us, while another family member joined us on the plane flight. 

My brother warned us that life on the set would not always be interesting – there would be a lot of time with nothing happening between scenes. That proved to true, but we didn't really mind that. We enjoyed the pleasant California weather and the novelty of the things going on around us. We saw a scene shot in a grocery store one day, and one at a storage facility a few days later. We had plenty of time to see the sights: Rodeo Drive, Hard Rock Cafe Hollywood, and a strip mall where we bought some frozen yogurt.

On Saturday afternoon, some of us went to a grocery store to pick up a few snacks and drink, and Hannah and I bought some simple food we could prepare and eat on Sunday: fruit and yogurt, spaghetti and sauce, and a loaf of french bread.

The next morning, two members of our traveling group went to see a professional baseball game. The other two decided to head to the beach. Hannah spent some quiet time writing in her journal, and I read some Church magazines I had brought with me. We enjoyed our fruit and yogurt, and decided to go out for a walk. We found an area where large business buildings surrounded a large, beautifully landscaped area with flowers and waterfalls. There was no one else there, and we enjoyed the peaceful serenity. Hannah and I sat down on a bench, and I told her this story:

_{Z Z Z Z Z}

When I began working at a market research company in October 1989, I had been looking forward to working there for weeks. I immediately liked the people I worked with and was excited about the work. There was one thing that I wondered about, though. When they hired me, they told me I would be doing quite a bit of traveling for my job. That was fine with me. But I when they said that my trips would usually be on weekends, and that I could expect to be out of town two Sundays a month.

This was a great concern for me. I wanted to keep the Sabbath holy. I wanted to be active in my ward and hold a calling. I was serving as the Primary Music leader at the time, and I didn’t see how I could do that if I was away from church half the time. I had felt really good about taking the job, and I believed the Lord had led me to this position. I decided that I would work hard, and do the best job I could, while doing my best to keep Sunday a holy day.

I was assigned to a project right away. I, along with two other analysts and one of the vice-presidents, would fly to California to conduct market research at a car clinic. We would leave Wednesday afternoon, spend Thursday setting up our research, and conduct interviews at the clinic on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I was disappointed about working all day Sunday, but I decided that I would make the effort to remember that it was the Lord’s day and make it a special day in some way. I would keep it as well as I could.

A few days before we were to leave for California, one of the managers asked to talk to me. He said that they had decided that I should stay in Memphis an extra day for some additional training before leaving for California. The rest of the team would leave on Wednesday and set up on Thursday, and I would join them Thursday night. I was a little disappointed about it, but I agreed.

When I got to California, I took a cab to the hotel, where I met the others. I learned that they had worked for about an hour that morning setting up, then spent the rest of the day shopping, sight-seeing, and beach-walking. They raved about the wonderful day they had spent. They told me they were sorry I had missed it, but they hoped we would have more time off to enjoy the area.

We worked very hard the next two days, spending long hours in interviews and team meetings. When I woke Sunday morning, I was not looking forward to working all day. I was determined to have as spiritual a day as possible, though, so I began the day with prayer and scripture study.

I left my room and met the other members of my team at the center where we had been working. There we learned that because of our hard work during the past two days, and because we had been fortunate enough to talk to the right people, we had unexpectedly met our research quota the day before. We had somehow completed three days’ work in two days. It was up to the project manager to decide what to do. We could work anyway, gathering extra information, or we could take the day off. She decided we would take the day off.

Everyone was happy. I felt that a miracle had occurred. The team manager said, “Okay, let’s go back to our rooms and change, then meet in the lobby in ten minutes. We can go back to the beach, and to that neat shop we found, and out to lunch.” She turned to me. “I’m glad you’ll get to spend some time sight-seeing, since you missed the fun the first day we were here.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I honestly did want to see the area and enjoy the beautiful day out on the beach. I also felt it was important for me to build a relationship with the people I would be working with. The other two analysts on the team were young women about my age, and I wanted to get to know them. The vice-president who was with us was a middle-aged woman whom I felt I could learn a lot from. I didn’t want to seem unfriendly on my first trip out.

Still, I felt that this Sunday off was a gift from the Lord, and I knew he had not given it to me for shopping and sunbathing. I told my co-workers that I would rather spend the day quietly in my room. They were confused about my attitude and pressured me a little, but I stood firm, and they left without me.

I had brought my scriptures and a current copy of the Ensign. I spent the day reading and praying. I discovered a radio station that was broadcasting the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and I enjoyed listening to that. It was a peaceful day.

At the end of the day I met my co-workers for dinner. They seemed a little disappointed about their day – it had not been as much fun as they expected. They were tired and a little grumpy, while I felt rejuvenated.

We flew back to Memphis the next morning .On Tuesday I went in to the office to work, The team-leader for the project came to me with news that was surprising to both of us: I had been selected to write the report on the project for the client. This was very unusual – normally an experienced senior analyst or manager would write the report, and this was my first project. But I learned that the vice-president had been impressed with me in California, and they thought I could do it.

I worked for that company for five years, first full-time, then part-time after Sam was born. I developed skills that have helped me at home, work, and church. I was able to help support our family working mostly from home with my small children. And I was able to talk to several of my co-workers about the gospel. The job was a great blessing for me in many ways.

During the time that I worked there, I believe I worked two or three Sundays. Other employees worked frequently on Sunday, but somehow, my Sunday projects would be canceled, or I would end up with different travel arrangements than the other people on my team. I believe that the Lord tested my willingness to really do my best to keep His day holy on my first project, and he poured out a blessing on me because of it.

_{Y Y Y Y Y}

Hannah and I walked back to the hotel and began to make our dinner. We were almost done cooking the spaghetti when the rest of the group came in. None of them seemed happy. The beach was cold and windy, and the sand got in their eyes. The baseball game had been called early because of the weather. We offered to share our dinner, but no one was interested. They all went their rooms and closed the doors. Hannah and I ate, cleaned the small hotel kitchen, and sat on the couch for a while, talking before we went to bed. We had had a good day, and we slept well.

_{k k k k k}

I don't believe the similarity of these stories – the one about our trip to Hollywood and the one I told Hannah as we sat on the bench – is coincidental. God's work is perfect, and sometimes we have to learn the same lesson twice. Or we learn it once and need to be tested on what we learned. I'm grateful for those learning experiences, and I know that Hannah and I both strengthened our testimony of keeping the Sabbath a holy day.

“. . . call the Sabbath a delight. . .” (Isaiah 58:13)

A Child's Prayer

We occasionally smile condescendingly at the sweet, simple prayers of young children. Sometimes the simplicity of the words children use in prayer hides their wisdom, but when we listen carefully, there are lessons to be learned.

Dear Heavenly Father, 

I recognize that you are my eternal Father, and I feel that you love me, and I love you. 

Thank you for this day. 

Thank you for letting me live another day to live, grow, and play on this beautiful earth.

Thank you for my family.

I recognize that the family is an important part of the Plan of Salvation, and I'm grateful for a family that loves me and takes care of me. I know that my family can be together forever.

Thank you for our home. 

I am thankful for my house and for a place where I can feel safe and sheltered and where I can feel your Spirit. 

Thank you for my puppy.

I know that you created the animals on the world. They are wonderful to see and some are fun to play with.

Thank you for the beautiful world.

I am glad you created this world because I love to see the beautiful sky, trees, flowers and plants. I know you did it to make us happy.

Help me to feel happy and not be scared.

I know that you have the power to make me feel happy and bring me peace. 

Suffer little children . . . to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 19:14)

 

Next time you have a chance to hear a child pray, you may want to listen more closely. You just might learn something you really need to know.

Hard to Believe

In May 1977, the first Star Wars movie was released.
Less than a year later, when I was in sixth grade, one of my classmates came back from spring break bursting with news. He had visited his uncle, who worked in Hollywood for a major movie studio. During the visit, his uncle had revealed a startling plot twist about the Star Wars sequel -- on condition he keep it a secret. But he was eager to share it:

“Luke and Leia are twins, and Darth Vader is their father!”

Clearly, to our all-knowing 12-year-old minds, this was not possible. We were sure this wasn't true and that this boy was lying. (He was not among the jet set of the sixth grade, and I suspected then, and I still suspect that he broke his uncle's confidence in order to gain some respect from his classmates.) Instead, we laughed at him. He was mocked and scorned.

Two years later, The Empire Strikes Back was released. In a memorable moment toward the end of the film, the evil Darth Vader confronted Luke with something hard to believe: 

Darth Vader: told  Luke Skywalker that  he was his father.

My memory stirred: Hey, I knew this; someone told me this two years ago! And Princess Leia is his twin sister!

After the movie, I told my friends and family that I had known about Luke and had additional information about the identity of his sister. It seemed impossible to them that I had known this and ridiculous to think that Luke and Leia were siblings. (This fact wasn't revealed until Return of the Jedi was released, another three years later).

_{v v v v v}

As I think about this experience, I am reminded of the story of another young man, just a few years older than I was, who also told about a personal experience that wasn't generally believed.

"... there was in the place where we lived an unusual excitement on the subject of religion . . . so great were the confusion and strife among the different denominations, that it was impossible for a person young as I was, and so unacquainted with men and things, to come to any certain conclusion who was right and who was wrong . . ."

Prompted by a scripture, young Joseph decided to ask God. 

"So, in accordance with this, my determination to ask of God, I retired to the woods to make the attempt. . . 

 ". . . I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.  One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him!"

". . . I soon found, however, that my telling the story had excited a great deal of prejudice against me among professors of religion, and was the cause of great persecution . . . However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision . . . I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth?  I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen?  For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it."

v v v v v

It was hard to believe in 1978 that Darth Vader, Luke and Leia were one big happy family. But millions of movie goers now believe that it is true. (Well, in a galaxy far, far away it's true.)

_{l l l l l l l}

And millions of people around the world have learned that the First Vision is true, that Joseph Smith did indeed see a pillar of light above his head, that he did speak to God and his Son, Jesus Christ, and that he was led by God from that time to change the world. 

Maybe some of us still aren't sure; it is hard to believe. 

But I know it to be true.

And you can, too.

Although Darth Vader was a bad guy, he gave some good advice:

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

There is a way to know.  There is a Source of light, truth, and knowledge. We can access that truth by studying and pondering God's word in our hearts and minds and coming to God in prayer.

"And by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:5)

 

So search your heart  Be a believer. You have everything you reed to do it.

 

Happy believing to you.ppy   

z z z z z z

1 Pearl of Great Price | JS-History 1:5

2 Pearl of Great Price | JS-History 1:8,14,17, 22, 25)

On Scarcity and Abundance

It was about three years ago, I suppose, that I started wondering where my hearing aid might be. This is a pretty important and rather expensive item, so I looked everywhere I could think of – we scoured  the house, I asked about it at the church library, and at my doctors' offices. Finally, after many months, I gave up the search and made an appointment with an audiologist, who sold me another hearing aid, very much like the old one.

About a month later, my husband Wes was cleaning our daughter's car, which she had brought to our house so we could help her sell it, and he found my old hearing aid, in its case, under the front passenger seat.

Not long after this find, I lost my glasses – not my dollar store reading glasses, which I make a habit of losing or breaking every week or two – but my prescription glasses, which would require a visit to an ophthalmologist and a prescription. After another long tedious and disappointing hunt, I called and scheduled an appointment.

The doctor tested my eyes and  told me that my prescription had not changed in the three years since my last exam. "So," he said, "your old glasses . . .?"

"I lost them," I admitted, perhaps a little sheepishly.

"Oh. Okay, I'll print this prescription for you."

So I left the office with the prescription in my hand, and a week or so later I had new glasses.

(At this point, the insightful reader might be observing the similarity of these two events, and perhaps can guess the end of this one. And this reader would be correct in conjecturing: About a month later, I found the lost eyeglasses behind some poorly organized books on a bookshelf in my bedroom.)

_{v v v v v}

When I told my sister Amber about these events, she said, “The Lord is teaching you patience.”

Amber is pretty wise about these things, and I usually agree with her assessments. But this time, her answer didn't quite click for me. (For one thing, if God wants to teach me patience, He's been at it for a while.) I think this was meant to teach me a different lesson – another lesson that I really needed. . .  .

_{z z z z z z z z z}

I have always been a tightwad. As a child I picked up pennies and rocks from the ground, as if they would disappear if I didn't collect and store them.

One Halloween night when I was about eight, I took my bag of Trick or Treat goodies upstairs to my closet, where I carefully "counted my blessings."  I counted every piece, every Smartie and M&M. I did some calculations and realized that if I ate one piece of candy every day, my stash would last exactly 365 days – just in time for the next Halloween to roll around.

My plan worked put well for a few days – until my three-year-old brother found the stash I had hidden in my closet. I was left with a bag of empty candy wrappers.

_{7     7      7        7        7        7        7}   

When I was about ten, my parents took us to a doughnut shop and we each got to choose a doughnut.  I chose a glazed doughnut, shiny and beautiful. This was a special indulgence in our family, and I intended to savor the experience. Before I took a bite, I had an idea: I remembered that in a week our family would be traveling from our home in California to visit our extended family in Utah. I would save my doughnut to eat in the van during our drive, I saw myself pulling it from my bag and eating it slowly and pretentiously, while my doughnut-deprived siblings watched with envy.


I got home and put the doughnut in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get stale, then quietly slipped it into my small purse, smiling with satisfaction, knowing that my plan would bring me not only the pleasure of having a delicious treat to eat on the journey, but the gratification of seeing the look of sadness on the faces of my less fortunate brother and sisters

A couple of hours into the 12-hour drive, I took the doughnut from its hiding place, to discover that my beautiful glazed doughnut was no longer beautiful. The groans of envy I had been expecting turned out to be cries of disgust when my family saw the furry blue pastry.


You might think that these two experiences, and others, would have taught me something – maybe something like this:

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal . . . (Matthew 6:19) 

But I don't learn easily, I guess.

Then I went to college and struggled to pay for tuition and rent and books and food. I was blessed to get through school, and I can tell you there were plenty of tender mercies along the way –  but still, money was tight.

Then I married a poor college student, and we became a poor student couple. Then as children came along, we became a poor student family – for eight years. 

So scarcity and poverty, with their accompanying scrimping and tight-wadding are set in me. That  mentality has long been part of who I am. It's in my blood.

But I'm beginning to wonder if that's not really a good thing.

_{k k k k k k}

Not long after the missing hearing aid and lost glasses incidents, I was reading the New Testament and saw this in Luke:

AND it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret, And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.

And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net. And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake. And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink. (Luke 5:1 – 7)





The Book of John gives us a similar story:



Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing.
But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus.

Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat?  They answered him, No.

And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord.

 And the other disciples came in a little ship; dragging the net with fishes.  As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread.
Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.

Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, and hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken.

Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine.  (John 21:1 – 12)


These two stories seem very alike. And they are – but when I read it in the mindset of scarcity and abundance, I noticed a difference.

Jesus doesn't care if the net breaks.

He knows that the nets can be mended, that the sea will never run out of fish. and that even when some were lost with the breaking of the net, there will plenty of fish for everyone. This is Abundance.

The Savior's life was all about abundance. He fed thousands of hungry people with what looked to be a scarcity of food.





He taught a woman he found near a well about water, and its abundant source.

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. (New Testament | John 4:14)

And He continues to teach this message.

The Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,1

. . . every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 2

Therefore, as ye abound in every thing, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound in this grace also. 3 

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work: 4

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 5

ZZZZZ

Please know that I am in no way applauding extravagance or recklessness in finances or in any other part (sector) of life. We have been counselled to spend wisely, to live within our means, and to avoid unnecessary debt. I can testify, from my own experience, that this is excellent advice.

But hoarding and miserliness are not the same as frugality. I'm talking about

hat tight, strained feeling that keeps us from opening our purses, our mouths, and our hearts, "to give good gifts." (Matthew 7:11)

_{& & & & &}

"For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves. Therefore, if any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment." 6

"And study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;  That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." 7

"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver." 8

\ \ \ \ \

I'm realizing, as I write this, that my perceptions of scarcity in my life were, well, a little harsh. Although some people might have said my parents had more kids than money, I look back to my childhood, and I don't think I was deprived of any necessities.

And in college, when there were times when I literally did not have a penny to call my own, the Lord responded, repeatedly, and abundantly, with tender mercies that got me through,

And while Wes was in school and the children started coming, we were poor by almost any standard. But we never went without. Clothes, or food or Christmas Trees, or opportunities to earn a little extra money came along – sometimes at the very moment of greatest need. I look back at that time with wonderful memories of happy times with our young children.

So maybe I was wrong when I wrote that the scarcity mentality was part of who I am. All of a sudden I don't see it that way.

This is what abundance looks like to me:

  I am come that they might have life,

       and that they might have it more abundantly.

(John 10:10)

 

Notes:

1 Exodus 34:6)

2 Deuteronomy 28:47

3 2 Corinthians 8:7
4 2 Corinthians 9:8
5 Isaiah 55:1 - 7
6 D&C 104:17 - 18)

7 1 Thessalonians 4:11 – 12

8 2 Corinthians 9:7

Three Little Words

I grew up in a large, energetic family. We enjoyed many fun activities and had good times together.

We also had some contention, teasing, and downright meanness. These episodes didn't usually last long, but they seemed to change the atmosphere of our home for a while.

It wasn't until I married Wes that I realized what the problem in my house had been.

In my family, we didn't apologize much. It seemed to me that the words "I'm Sorry" were used only at funeral viewings.

Wes, on the other hand, is terrific at apologizing. I learned from him that the tension after a disagreement or disappointment could be dispelled with a few words:

         “I'm so sorry.”

         “I was wrong.”

          “Please forgive me.” 

               ✮      ✮      ✮      ✮     ✮✵✵✵✵✵✵✵ﾟﾍﾼ

“In most cases we are married for only a short time before we hurt our spouse’s feelings. Whether it is intentional, based on selfishness, or just inadvertent mistakes, we all end up doing things that create hurt in our spouse.

The remedy is pretty straightforward. We say, “I’m sorry.” We feel badly that we hurt our spouse, apologize, learn from the experience, and do our best not to make the same mistake again. We repent, and, assuming that the problem wasn’t too major, the issue is over.”¹

_{k k k k k}

I have learned that there is no Ctrl-Z key for relationships. It's not that easy.

       But it's not that hard, either.

“It's not over until somebody says “I'm sorry.”

This mindset of apology and forgiveness has been a vital influence in my never-ending quest to be a better parent. To seek out the offended child, and to say, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'll try not to let it happen again. Will you please forgive me?" Besides clearing the air, and hopefully strengthening the relationship, this gives my children an example of repentance and a chance to practice forgiveness.

I have also learned that the modified half-apology: Well, I'm sorry, but you were being such an idiot! just isn't good enough. (Okay, so I'm still working on this one.)

_{& & & & & &}

The scriptures contain some great examples of apologizing and forgiving.

Joseph of Egypt was sold as a slave by his envious older brothers. But when them again, years later, he forgave them – almost thanked them – for what they had done:

And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you.  And they came near.  And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.
And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God . . . ²

✪            ✪           ✪            ✪           ✪

 Nephi was tied hand and foot and left to die by his older brothers, Laman and Lemuel, because they were tired of hearing him preach the truth to him.

They did bind me with cords, for they sought to take away my life,
that they might leave me in the wilderness to be devoured by wild beasts.

Nephi prayed for help, and his prayer was answered.

I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee,
 wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren;
 yea, even give me strength  that I may burst these bands with which I am bound. 
And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet,

Unfortunately, this made Nephi's brothers even more angry, and they tried again to capture him. 

And it came to pass that they were angry with me again, and sought to lay hands upon me; but behold, one of the daughters of Ishmael, yea, and also her mother, and one of the sons of Ishmael, did plead with my brethren, insomuch that they did soften their hearts; and they did cease striving to take away my life. 

And it came to pass that they were sorrowful, because of their wickedness, insomuch that they did bow down before me, and did plead with me that I would forgive them of the thing that they had done against me.

And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness. And it came to pass that they did so. And after they had done praying unto the Lord we did again travel on our journey towards the tent of our father. ³

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Some wise words from Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
The way you treat your wife or children or parents or siblings may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, or isolation? Or one of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity?

Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love?

Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.

If you do this, whatever adversity you are facing will pass, and because of the love of God in your hearts, contention will fade. These principles of saving relationships apply to all of us, regardless of whether we are married, divorced, widowed, or single. We all can be saviors of strong families.⁴

Y Y Y Y Y Y Y

So, the next time you have some contention – or maybe just a misunderstanding – remember those three little words, and take it upon yourself to apologize.

     Apologize. Forgive. And Let it go.

                   The Savior gave  us  this assurance:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 5

     We cannot find this promised peace while we are carrying memories of past wars.

Some of us are committed to working toward life with our families forever. Others hope to get a chance to do that. If you plan to be happy and free from strife in the future, why not start now?

. . . by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, and without guile— 6

This year, on Valentines Day, shower love and compassion and repentance on your family and neighbors – and then keep it up – the next day, and the day after that and the day after that, and the day after that . . .

That's how eternity is built – one day at a time.

             














Notes:

1. Richard B. Miller, Professor in the School of Family Life,  Repentance and Forgiveness in Marriage.  BYU Devotional, January 19, 2010

2. Genesis 45:4 - 8

3. 1 Nephi 7:16 - 21

4. In Praise of Those Who Save. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2016 General Conference, Priesthood Session.

5.  John 14:27

6.  See Doctrine and Covenants 121:41 - 44)