Executive Position

I was surprised to even receive the letter.  It came in an official-looking envelope, and informed me that I had been selected to appear in the next edition of Who’s Who in American Executives.

I’m self-employed, and so while I may be my own boss, I don’t think of myself as an executive. I was about to toss the letter, thinking it was nothing more than a mistake in someone’s mailing list, but then I reconsidered. I am the mother of seven children.  Couldn't I be considered an executive in that role?  Sure, most of the time I feel like I’m more “labor” than I am “management.” And my salary compares to most CEOs only if the currency in which I am paid is unpleasant odors.

But when I consulted my dictionary, I learned that an executive is “a person in charge of  administration.”  I’ve actually administered a lot of things – if medicines and punishments count.

So I took another look at the letter.  It directed me to fill out and return the enclosed form to let them know about myself and my company.  I grabbed the form, dug up a pen, and began.

The first few questions were easy.

Job Title?  Mom. (Also, Mama, Mommy, and Hey, you.)

Number of years in this position?  16.

Number of employees/subordinates? [I briefly wondered whether to count my husband, but decided against it.]  Seven.

It got a little trickier from there.

What type of industry does your work fall under? (check one)

I carefully considered each of the choices.

Transportation?  Okay, that’s a yes.

Entertainment?  Uh-huh.

Educational Services? Public Relations? Financial Services? Yes, yes, and yes.

Food Service? Oh, yes.

Hospitality? Health Care? Hygiene? You betcha.

How about Law Enforcement? Hah!  I’ve enforced more laws and broken up more fights than the NYPD.

Check one? I could check any of these.  Janitorial Services?  What do you think?

Just reading the list of choices was making me tired and depressed.  I decided to go on to the next question.  Surely it would be easier.  I read on.

Do you plan an expansion of your organization in the next year?

No.  No, no, I don’t.  I think my organization (and my waist along with it) has seen enough expansions.

In the end, I decided my first instinct about this letter was right, and I made an Executive Decision.  So, if any of you are interested in seeing my entry for the next edition of Who’s Who in American Executives, you can fish it out of my recycling bin.