Hard to Believe

In May 1977, the first Star Wars movie was released.
Less than a year later, when I was in sixth grade, one of my classmates came back from spring break bursting with news. He had visited his uncle, who worked in Hollywood for a major movie studio. During the visit, his uncle had revealed a startling plot twist about the Star Wars sequel -- on condition he keep it a secret. But he was eager to share it:

“Luke and Leia are twins, and Darth Vader is their father!”

Clearly, to our all-knowing 12-year-old minds, this was not possible. We were sure this wasn't true and that this boy was lying. (He was not among the jet set of the sixth grade, and I suspected then, and I still suspect that he broke his uncle's confidence in order to gain some respect from his classmates.) Instead, we laughed at him. He was mocked and scorned.

Two years later, The Empire Strikes Back was released. In a memorable moment toward the end of the film, the evil Darth Vader confronted Luke with something hard to believe: 

Darth Vader: told  Luke Skywalker that  he was his father.

My memory stirred: Hey, I knew this; someone told me this two years ago! And Princess Leia is his twin sister!

After the movie, I told my friends and family that I had known about Luke and had additional information about the identity of his sister. It seemed impossible to them that I had known this and ridiculous to think that Luke and Leia were siblings. (This fact wasn't revealed until Return of the Jedi was released, another three years later).

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As I think about this experience, I am reminded of the story of another young man, just a few years older than I was, who also told about a personal experience that wasn't generally believed.

"... there was in the place where we lived an unusual excitement on the subject of religion . . . so great were the confusion and strife among the different denominations, that it was impossible for a person young as I was, and so unacquainted with men and things, to come to any certain conclusion who was right and who was wrong . . ."

Prompted by a scripture, young Joseph decided to ask God. 

"So, in accordance with this, my determination to ask of God, I retired to the woods to make the attempt. . . 

 ". . . I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.  One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him!"

". . . I soon found, however, that my telling the story had excited a great deal of prejudice against me among professors of religion, and was the cause of great persecution . . . However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision . . . I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth?  I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen?  For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it."

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It was hard to believe in 1978 that Darth Vader, Luke and Leia were one big happy family. But millions of movie goers now believe that it is true. (Well, in a galaxy far, far away it's true.)

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And millions of people around the world have learned that the First Vision is true, that Joseph Smith did indeed see a pillar of light above his head, that he did speak to God and his Son, Jesus Christ, and that he was led by God from that time to change the world. 

Maybe some of us still aren't sure; it is hard to believe. 

But I know it to be true.

And you can, too.

Although Darth Vader was a bad guy, he gave some good advice:

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

There is a way to know.  There is a Source of light, truth, and knowledge. We can access that truth by studying and pondering God's word in our hearts and minds and coming to God in prayer.

"And by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:5)

 

So search your heart  Be a believer. You have everything you reed to do it.

 

Happy believing to you.ppy   

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1 Pearl of Great Price | JS-History 1:5

2 Pearl of Great Price | JS-History 1:8,14,17, 22, 25)

On Scarcity and Abundance

It was about three years ago, I suppose, that I started wondering where my hearing aid might be. This is a pretty important and rather expensive item, so I looked everywhere I could think of – we scoured  the house, I asked about it at the church library, and at my doctors' offices. Finally, after many months, I gave up the search and made an appointment with an audiologist, who sold me another hearing aid, very much like the old one.

About a month later, my husband Wes was cleaning our daughter's car, which she had brought to our house so we could help her sell it, and he found my old hearing aid, in its case, under the front passenger seat.

Not long after this find, I lost my glasses – not my dollar store reading glasses, which I make a habit of losing or breaking every week or two – but my prescription glasses, which would require a visit to an ophthalmologist and a prescription. After another long tedious and disappointing hunt, I called and scheduled an appointment.

The doctor tested my eyes and  told me that my prescription had not changed in the three years since my last exam. "So," he said, "your old glasses . . .?"

"I lost them," I admitted, perhaps a little sheepishly.

"Oh. Okay, I'll print this prescription for you."

So I left the office with the prescription in my hand, and a week or so later I had new glasses.

(At this point, the insightful reader might be observing the similarity of these two events, and perhaps can guess the end of this one. And this reader would be correct in conjecturing: About a month later, I found the lost eyeglasses behind some poorly organized books on a bookshelf in my bedroom.)

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When I told my sister Amber about these events, she said, “The Lord is teaching you patience.”

Amber is pretty wise about these things, and I usually agree with her assessments. But this time, her answer didn't quite click for me. (For one thing, if God wants to teach me patience, He's been at it for a while.) I think this was meant to teach me a different lesson – another lesson that I really needed. . .  .

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I have always been a tightwad. As a child I picked up pennies and rocks from the ground, as if they would disappear if I didn't collect and store them.

One Halloween night when I was about eight, I took my bag of Trick or Treat goodies upstairs to my closet, where I carefully "counted my blessings."  I counted every piece, every Smartie and M&M. I did some calculations and realized that if I ate one piece of candy every day, my stash would last exactly 365 days – just in time for the next Halloween to roll around.

My plan worked put well for a few days – until my three-year-old brother found the stash I had hidden in my closet. I was left with a bag of empty candy wrappers.

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When I was about ten, my parents took us to a doughnut shop and we each got to choose a doughnut.  I chose a glazed doughnut, shiny and beautiful. This was a special indulgence in our family, and I intended to savor the experience. Before I took a bite, I had an idea: I remembered that in a week our family would be traveling from our home in California to visit our extended family in Utah. I would save my doughnut to eat in the van during our drive, I saw myself pulling it from my bag and eating it slowly and pretentiously, while my doughnut-deprived siblings watched with envy.


I got home and put the doughnut in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get stale, then quietly slipped it into my small purse, smiling with satisfaction, knowing that my plan would bring me not only the pleasure of having a delicious treat to eat on the journey, but the gratification of seeing the look of sadness on the faces of my less fortunate brother and sisters

A couple of hours into the 12-hour drive, I took the doughnut from its hiding place, to discover that my beautiful glazed doughnut was no longer beautiful. The groans of envy I had been expecting turned out to be cries of disgust when my family saw the furry blue pastry.


You might think that these two experiences, and others, would have taught me something – maybe something like this:

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal . . . (Matthew 6:19) 

But I don't learn easily, I guess.

Then I went to college and struggled to pay for tuition and rent and books and food. I was blessed to get through school, and I can tell you there were plenty of tender mercies along the way –  but still, money was tight.

Then I married a poor college student, and we became a poor student couple. Then as children came along, we became a poor student family – for eight years. 

So scarcity and poverty, with their accompanying scrimping and tight-wadding are set in me. That  mentality has long been part of who I am. It's in my blood.

But I'm beginning to wonder if that's not really a good thing.

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Not long after the missing hearing aid and lost glasses incidents, I was reading the New Testament and saw this in Luke:

AND it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret, And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.

And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net. And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake. And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink. (Luke 5:1 – 7)





The Book of John gives us a similar story:



Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately; and that night they caught nothing.
But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus.

Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat?  They answered him, No.

And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord.

 And the other disciples came in a little ship; dragging the net with fishes.  As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread.
Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.

Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, and hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken.

Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine.  (John 21:1 – 12)


These two stories seem very alike. And they are – but when I read it in the mindset of scarcity and abundance, I noticed a difference.

Jesus doesn't care if the net breaks.

He knows that the nets can be mended, that the sea will never run out of fish. and that even when some were lost with the breaking of the net, there will plenty of fish for everyone. This is Abundance.

The Savior's life was all about abundance. He fed thousands of hungry people with what looked to be a scarcity of food.





He taught a woman he found near a well about water, and its abundant source.

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. (New Testament | John 4:14)

And He continues to teach this message.

The Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,1

. . . every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 2

Therefore, as ye abound in every thing, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound in this grace also. 3 

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work: 4

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 5

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Please know that I am in no way applauding extravagance or recklessness in finances or in any other part (sector) of life. We have been counselled to spend wisely, to live within our means, and to avoid unnecessary debt. I can testify, from my own experience, that this is excellent advice.

But hoarding and miserliness are not the same as frugality. I'm talking about

hat tight, strained feeling that keeps us from opening our purses, our mouths, and our hearts, "to give good gifts." (Matthew 7:11)

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"For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; yea, I prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves. Therefore, if any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment." 6

"And study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;  That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." 7

"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver." 8

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I'm realizing, as I write this, that my perceptions of scarcity in my life were, well, a little harsh. Although some people might have said my parents had more kids than money, I look back to my childhood, and I don't think I was deprived of any necessities.

And in college, when there were times when I literally did not have a penny to call my own, the Lord responded, repeatedly, and abundantly, with tender mercies that got me through,

And while Wes was in school and the children started coming, we were poor by almost any standard. But we never went without. Clothes, or food or Christmas Trees, or opportunities to earn a little extra money came along – sometimes at the very moment of greatest need. I look back at that time with wonderful memories of happy times with our young children.

So maybe I was wrong when I wrote that the scarcity mentality was part of who I am. All of a sudden I don't see it that way.

This is what abundance looks like to me:

  I am come that they might have life,

       and that they might have it more abundantly.

(John 10:10)

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Notes:

1 Exodus 34:6)

2 Deuteronomy 28:47

3 2 Corinthians 8:7
4 2 Corinthians 9:8
5 Isaiah 55:1 - 7
6 D&C 104:17 - 18)

7 1 Thessalonians 4:11 – 12

8 2 Corinthians 9:7

Three Little Words

I grew up in a large, energetic family. We enjoyed many fun activities and had good times together.

We also had some contention, teasing, and downright meanness. These episodes didn't usually last long, but they seemed to change the atmosphere of our home for a while.

It wasn't until I married Wes that I realized what the problem in my house had been.

In my family, we didn't apologize much. It seemed to me that the words "I'm Sorry" were used only at funeral viewings.

Wes, on the other hand, is terrific at apologizing. I learned from him that the tension after a disagreement or disappointment could be dispelled with a few words:

         “I'm so sorry.”

         “I was wrong.”

          “Please forgive me.” 

               ✮      ✮      ✮      ✮     ✮✵✵✵✵✵✵✵ﾟﾍﾼ

“In most cases we are married for only a short time before we hurt our spouse’s feelings. Whether it is intentional, based on selfishness, or just inadvertent mistakes, we all end up doing things that create hurt in our spouse.

The remedy is pretty straightforward. We say, “I’m sorry.” We feel badly that we hurt our spouse, apologize, learn from the experience, and do our best not to make the same mistake again. We repent, and, assuming that the problem wasn’t too major, the issue is over.”¹

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I have learned that there is no Ctrl-Z key for relationships. It's not that easy.

       But it's not that hard, either.

“It's not over until somebody says “I'm sorry.”

This mindset of apology and forgiveness has been a vital influence in my never-ending quest to be a better parent. To seek out the offended child, and to say, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'll try not to let it happen again. Will you please forgive me?" Besides clearing the air, and hopefully strengthening the relationship, this gives my children an example of repentance and a chance to practice forgiveness.

I have also learned that the modified half-apology: Well, I'm sorry, but you were being such an idiot! just isn't good enough. (Okay, so I'm still working on this one.)

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The scriptures contain some great examples of apologizing and forgiving.

Joseph of Egypt was sold as a slave by his envious older brothers. But when them again, years later, he forgave them – almost thanked them – for what they had done:

And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you.  And they came near.  And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.
And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God . . . ²

✪            ✪           ✪            ✪           ✪

 Nephi was tied hand and foot and left to die by his older brothers, Laman and Lemuel, because they were tired of hearing him preach the truth to him.

They did bind me with cords, for they sought to take away my life,
that they might leave me in the wilderness to be devoured by wild beasts.

Nephi prayed for help, and his prayer was answered.

I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee,
 wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren;
 yea, even give me strength  that I may burst these bands with which I am bound. 
And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet,

Unfortunately, this made Nephi's brothers even more angry, and they tried again to capture him. 

And it came to pass that they were angry with me again, and sought to lay hands upon me; but behold, one of the daughters of Ishmael, yea, and also her mother, and one of the sons of Ishmael, did plead with my brethren, insomuch that they did soften their hearts; and they did cease striving to take away my life. 

And it came to pass that they were sorrowful, because of their wickedness, insomuch that they did bow down before me, and did plead with me that I would forgive them of the thing that they had done against me.

And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness. And it came to pass that they did so. And after they had done praying unto the Lord we did again travel on our journey towards the tent of our father. ³

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Some wise words from Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
The way you treat your wife or children or parents or siblings may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, or isolation? Or one of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity?

Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love?

Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.

If you do this, whatever adversity you are facing will pass, and because of the love of God in your hearts, contention will fade. These principles of saving relationships apply to all of us, regardless of whether we are married, divorced, widowed, or single. We all can be saviors of strong families.⁴

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So, the next time you have some contention – or maybe just a misunderstanding – remember those three little words, and take it upon yourself to apologize.

     Apologize. Forgive. And Let it go.

                   The Savior gave  us  this assurance:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 5

     We cannot find this promised peace while we are carrying memories of past wars.

Some of us are committed to working toward life with our families forever. Others hope to get a chance to do that. If you plan to be happy and free from strife in the future, why not start now?

. . . by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, and without guile— 6

This year, on Valentines Day, shower love and compassion and repentance on your family and neighbors – and then keep it up – the next day, and the day after that and the day after that, and the day after that . . .

That's how eternity is built – one day at a time.

             














Notes:

1. Richard B. Miller, Professor in the School of Family Life,  Repentance and Forgiveness in Marriage.  BYU Devotional, January 19, 2010

2. Genesis 45:4 - 8

3. 1 Nephi 7:16 - 21

4. In Praise of Those Who Save. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2016 General Conference, Priesthood Session.

5.  John 14:27

6.  See Doctrine and Covenants 121:41 - 44)